I suspect there are other working moms like me who come home to backpacks and jackets lying in the hallway, living room overtaken by legos, kitchen island covered in books, apples, legos, mail, a pair of boy scout pants that has needed hemming since the beginning of time. I say "working moms" because in my imagination the stay at home moms have got it all under control and would never let this happen in their house. Some days it feels like it's the final straw. Yes I think, it must be time for me to move out and get a place of my own. Somewhere along the way I got lost in the creation of this family.
I surrendered the Mom job to Melanoma Man years ago. Honestly I think I'm better at it too. Although to give him his credit he's done beautifully in the Dad role. In the evenings and on the weekends I take the Mom job back, bit by bit, trying to instill a bit of my way of doing things into the people in this house. I am usually only temporarily successful, with things returning to the usual state of affairs by the time I walk back in the door the following day.
I remember my Mom alerting us when my Dad left the office. It was a 25 mile commute for him, so that gave us time to pull things together. No toys, books, coats, debris in the living room, dining room, or kitchen. Everything put away or in your room by the time Dad got home. Now I really get it, as I trip over oodles of other people's belongings on my way into this house.
I think somehow that books will help me accomplish my goals, so I'm working my way through these two books:
1 Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement and
2 The Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week .
I'll report back on my progress. I'm still recovering from spring break when I worked while Melanoma Man, imac, and Butter stayed home and trashed the house. Now that Melanoma Man is in a relatively stable period and I'm no longer in crisis management mode, all the things I always wanted in this marriage and this family have bubbled up to the top. It is clear that it ain't gonna happen and I was a fool to think it ever would. Each truth is revealed in it's own time. This truth revealed either too early or too late.
Ah Saire...we stay-at-home moms have a lot of kid debris around the house, too. There never seems to be enough bins, shelves, etc. to contain all of it. And instead of spending my days tidying, I seem to spend it grocery shopping, Target shopping, volunteering at the kids' school, going to my own appointments, and so on. There might be a few homes that look like the Pottery Barn catalog. Mine is not one of them. So I try to accept that as my reality, and try to roll with it. :)
ReplyDeleteWe may not have legos everywhere, since we're still in the "let's see how many things I can stuff in my mouth without going to the ER" phase, but we have plenty of stuff everywhere. And more unfortunate than the stuff is our bathroom, which smells like a urinal on the New Jersey Turnpike because my three-year-old likes to try to aim at the trashcan instead of the toilet . . . and the bathroom floor is . . . . gasp . . . carpeted! You're an amazing mom. XO.
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