Thursday, June 19, 2014

Missteps and blunders abound

School is out! We had a frenzy of the middle school drama show, fifth grade talent show, BoyScout Court of Honor, fifth grade graduation, eighth grade graduation, 24 hour trip to Orlando, and Melanoma Man's follow up with the Weber at Moffitt Cancer Center. During all that MM seemed to be swapping words out, gave me directions to a location we had been to together 2 days before, short term memory seemed to be a little off. I raised the subject of memory loss with MM. After my third attempt he said "I'm losing my mind." He joked, " What did you say your name was again?" Deflecting any talk of aberrations. 

I overstepped my bounds perhaps, emailed Dr. Weber 2 days before MM's appointment. MM handled it better than I expected. With not much more to lose, I didn't care so much if he was mad or furious or hurt. it was just the opportunity to just maybe find out early if these oddities are the result of radiation or of new tumors. The chance for an early MRI, the chance for radiation treatment if tumors were small enough. Seeing how much he is enjoying living, being here with me and the boys. I just wanted to buy some more time. As everyone, except perhaps for me, already knows, MM did not see this as an opportunity to intervene early. So we wait for our regularly scheduled program of MRI and CTscans in mid July. 

All is calm here in comparison to other recent months. Yet I have the sense that there is a murderer napping in the hall closet and I am too tired to stay on watch in case he wakes.

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