What has been lacking this week is laughter and being with people who know my story and put up with me anyway. I feel like I have to have my party dress on ALL the time in new job world. I was listening to a video clip of Brene Brown and Oprah tonight in which she said something to the effect of "you cannot choose courage and comfort at the same time." Dang!!!! I really want both right now, or maybe tomorrow would be ok. Really, never at the same time?
This weekend was busy with a Boyscout hosted camp out for the Webelos. iMac is a Boyscout and Butter is a Webelo. Melanoma Man and I discussed options. We thought M M could spend Saturday and Sunday at the campground. Butter could share a tent with iMac while Melanoma Man came home to sleep in a bed at night. The master plan was for all the Webelo Dads to spend the night, so this would have been a deviation. Camping, getting in and out of a tent are particularly hard on Melanoma Man's breathing. Mid week Butter said "You know Dad, now that I'm about to become a Boyscout you don't go on as many camp outs as you used to." That was all that needed to be said. Melanoma Man was in, sleeping in the tent. Decided. The campsite was close to home, about an hour away. Melanoma Man's friend Charles would be there. In addition to being one of the most spiritual beings I have met on this earth, Charles also happens to have served as a medic in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Home with the cat, I stayed busy, avoiding thinking as much as possible. Laundry, laundry, kitchen cleaning, grocery shopping, card making. Most of all not thinking if I could about Wednesday October 9th's schedule. MM will head to Tampa for Ct scans of abdomen and chest, and the first MRI of his brain since his radiation treatment for the brain tumors in July. He'll see The Weber, as he likes to call his oncologist and Dr. Rau, his radiation oncologist. I can't go since it's my second week in the new job and I' m busy acting like a new employee with no pesky personal problems that might impact my work. It's probably best that I don't go since MM and I don't tend to get along well at medical appointments.