Thursday, March 13, 2014

I was wrong! and Ramblings about my week

The visit from Melanoma Man's friend R turned out to be actually good. Yes indeed, my initial assessment was incorrect and colored by my own insecurities. After the first 24 hours R had finished with his story. The story of a divorce he didn't particularly want from the woman with whom he shares two children, six grandchildren and almost 4 decades of memories. By day two he began to notice the fight Melanoma Man is fighting and he began to help, doing dishes, ironing imac's shirt for his band performance. He and Melanoma Man chattered with each other like a couple of elementary school girls. I could see that it was healing both of them, lightening their hearts.

My initial objection was that MM invited his friend to stay with us without discussing it with me. After 15 years of marriage this really shouldn't surprise me.Then all of the usual insecurities rained down on me. There's too much evidence of who I am in this house, too much evidence of shortcomings, things started and not finished. It doesn't look like the house of a person who has it all together and of course I don't. Then there is the mending of people. I am a people mender and sometimes take too many under my wing. R didn't seem to be any more or less broken than the rest of us.  If he was casting judgement on my homemaking skills it certainly wasn't apparent.

This week my supervisor, D said she wished I would apply for the nurse manager position. I said NO. A big part of the beauty of this job is that it is not stressful. Of course the nurse manager position would be more $. At 4 o'clock Friday afternoon the clinic refrigerator died. It is kind of a big deal because it meant quickly finding a suitable amount of real estate in another refrigerator to preserve a whole lot of temperature controlled medications. D and I rearranged and found a way. D had to stay late to make sure the new refrigerator could maintain the appropriate temperature. I was able to leave on time which was important on this day because iMac was performing as part of his middle school wind ensemble in the state music assessment. I got there in plenty of time and I guessed correctly sitting in the center third row with a perfect view of iMac. We stayed until 8:30, long enough to find out that their wind ensemble earned a Superior.

 A hectic Friday morning as Melanoma Man departed to Tampa and R departed to the airport.  I took Butter over to faithful friend MK, along with all his school stuff, and camping gear for the BoyScout campout. MK picked up both boys from school. She delivered her son and iMac back to school at 5 so they could board the bus with their fellow band members, en route to the state assessment. Her husband delivered Butter to church with camping gear to depart for the camp out. I finished work  at 5 and drove straight to the band assessment. Melanoma Man returned from his appointment with The Weber/Moffitt a little after 10 p.m. with a good report.

Saturday morning Melanoma Man drove a batch of Boyscouts, including iMac to meet up with their fellow campers. MM was home by mid day. We had a rare afternoon, evening, night and morning to ourselves. The last time we had this luxury was the first week of July when I took Melanoma Man to Tampa for stereotactic brain radiation surgery. This weekend alone was different, we weren't encumbered by the urgency of staying alive. We went to Bonefish Grill for dinner. We talked and talked and talked and just enjoyed hanging out with each other. Melanoma Man felt exceptionally well. And it was good, just pure goodness for both of us.

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