Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Garbage Day- Good Life

Today is garbage day. I missed it last week. I lost a whole day last week. Monday night Melanoma Man's brother Wayne arrived from North Carolina. It was spring break for Butter and imac. Melanoma Man had promised them a trip to Universal and Aquatica in Orlando in the hopes that Wayne would be able to join them. I don't have enough time off at the newish job yet to squander precious leave hours on spring break. I'm saving them for summer or sickness, never sure which. I've started to think amazing thoughts like maybe Melanoma Man is going to be around to see imac learn to drive, to see Butter start high school. Stuff like that. I get carried away and then I feel greedy. A voice inside my head says "isn't finishing elementary school and middle school good enough for you girl?"

So last Monday Wayne arrived around 6 pm at which point Melanoma Man advised him of the plan. No previous mention of a roadtrip to Orlando had been made to Wayne. I felt like I was in good company with Wayne, someone else who would understand the constant surprise elements introduced to life by Melanoma Man. Wayne was relieved that he would not be spending the two days with Mickey and Minnie. They played miniature golf at Pirate's Cove, swam in the hotel pool. Butter and imac went on all twelve slides at Aquatica.

At two o'clock early Tuesday morning I awoke with a headache in my left eye, neck, cheek, shoulder, the beginning of a tension headache for me. I took Advil. I applied heat. I got out Bob Anderson's Stretching Book to try to halt the storm. It was too late. The vomiting started around 3 a.m. and carried on until about 11 a.m. I called in sick to work. Melanoma Man, Wayne and the boys left for their adventure around 1:30 Tuesday afternoon once my storm had passed. My storms are familiar to me. I've had them as long as I can remember, although their frequency varies. It is my basic stress response, although I have a variety of other charming responses as well.

Thursday night Melanoma Man tentatively broached the subject of my headaches and vomiting episodes, which have only been two in the past 6 months. He suggested that I work on "acceptance." I refrained from hitting him with a shoe or a dictionary or any other household object. Instead I realized that what he meant to say was "I love you." Next he asked if maybe I would just possibly consider thinking about going to see a psychologist/Ginny, pretty please? Ginny helped me through the aftermath of the war evacuation from the Republic of Georgia during the Russian/Georgian war in 2008. I saw no combat, but it was a life upheaval to say the least.

I had thought the headache/vomiting episode through pretty thoroughly. I decided that right now I have to do something routinely, not just when I feel bad,not at the eleventh hour, not after all the laundry and chores are done to calm my mind and soul. I told Melanoma Man that life is a roller coaster and I am going to try to find a way to stay calm and centered on this roller coaster. Waves of headache and nausea returned on Friday, abated, returned on Saturday. I scheduled a $40 introductory offer massage on Sunday to undo all the kinks in the muscles of my head, neck, shoulders and back. Monday night and Tuesday night I spent an hour before bed on a Yoga/stretching video. I slept better Monday night than I have slept in two years. I'm still considering the psychologist/Ginny, but I didn't want to throw $160 at her so she could tell me to do things I know I need to do. If I fail to do them repeatedly I have committed to go see her. So all of that thinking and headaching and what not made me forget to take the garbage out last week. Double garbage and recycling today. I took it out to the curb last night for good measure.

Up at 5 this morning, I made chocolate chip muffins for the boys for breakfast. I did sneak some flax meal and whole wheat flour into the muffins. I left with imac at 6:45 a.m. for the bus stop. Melanoma Man left at 7 for Tampa. Butter spent an hour in the house by himself and then got himself to the bus at 8 a.m. Both boys home by bus this afternoon to an empty house for the first time. They texted and called and did homework and what not. Growing up. I left work at 5. Good news from Melanoma Man in Tampa. His brain MRI shows only 1 of the original 8 brain tumors remains, still shrinking on the Dabrafenib and the Mekinist. I picked up pizza on the way home. The boys finished their chores, while I finished breakfast dishes. Homework done, I told them they could watch a little tv for a special treat. They chose Scooby Doo. I remember watching Scooby Doo on Saturday mornings forty plus years ago with Johnny Reb. Something reassuring about Scooby.

Then this song started going through my head, so I am sharing it with you:

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